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Alonquin C. Lumpus (simply called Scoutmaster Lumpus, as his first name is rarely mentioned) is an angry, stick-in-the-mud moose with a big ego. His head has the same design of Heffer Wolfe's head. His last name is always mispronounced by almost everyone except Raj and sometimes Slinkman, who only mispronounces it in Lumpus' absence. Everyone else refers to him as Scoutmaster "Lump-us". Everything has to be exactly how he likes and wants it to be or he becomes enraged. He is always in a bad mood and this horrible disposition could have been caused by his parents' failure to visit him at camp and tell him that they love him or even show any signs of care for him[citation needed]. One of the things that does make Scoutmaster Lumpus happy is doing what he can to ruin the fun for the other scouts. This includes confiscating packages sent to the campers from home, because they're against camp rules; this is just an excuse as he keeps them for himself afterwards. However, the very thought of eating can turn his personality around. Nobody, however, knows Lumpus's secret: he loves playing with dolls and has a collection of them stashed in his closet. He is a member of a secretive club called the "Legume Council" and desires to be Grand Legume. Lumpus had a ritual of visiting an old site near the camp where his grandfather, General Sherman B. Lumpus, had fought in and won a battle though after an attempt to scam his fellow troops. General Lumpus was attacked by his own men and ended up rolling down the mountain into a parade. He was last seen cleaning up after the elephants.

Scoutmaster Lumpus hates almost everyone and lacks any kind of social skills. His disrespectful nature is targeted towards Slinkman and does whatever he wishes to make Slinkman's life as miserable as his, despite the fact that he truly likes Slinkman deep-down and considers Slinkman his friend. The only individual he shows any respect towards is Commander Hoo-Hah, due to Hoo-Hah being his boss and the fact that he intimidates Lumpus.

He is not the real scoutmaster, he is actually a deranged lunatic that held the real scoutmaster, a cow, for the summer. This happened in the series finale. He is voiced by Tom Kenny.